In the past month teen suicide has finally legitimately become an issue on the forefront of the worlds agenda. Sadly, this is coming too late for some and not anywhere near soon enough for others.
There has been an outpouring of videos from actors, musicians and talk show hosts all around the world sharing their stories and the pain. The videos all bear the same message “It gets better” And it does. Trust me.
However, I am not a teenage bully nor am I being bullied, but I have felt the deep, sharp impact of suicide on my heart and I know the horrific pain that comes from loosing someone you love in a way you can never make right.
This post is addressed at those of us who are not the perpetrator or the victim, we are the others, we are the difference.
We hold the power to make a positive change in this scenario. We are the deviation between a suicide and getting help. We are the wings of the butterfly flapping in our little corner of the world. We are heros, we are saviors, we are angels.
It is our responsibility to stand up for those who cannot and step in when something isn’t right.
When we see someone being bullied, attacked, harassed, fucked with, antagonized, bothered or pushed around WE must stand up and say enough. We must take the power back and change the balance of power between the aggressor and the casualty because we can.
A bully will only pick on someone they deem to be weaker than them, someone they know they can abuse, someone who cannot or will not fight back. In most cases it is because the bully has been or is being abused themselves and they don’t know how to deal with it. When someone, ANYONE, steps in and says “STOP” the bully no longer has the control or the false bravado to continue.
The victim can CLEARLY see that SOMEONE cares, anyone. The difference this makes is more than any of us others can begin to realize. To stand up for them is to make them visible, to make them real, to make them feel protected.
In the case of Tyler Clementi there should have been outrage and open support, not whispering in the halls and behind his back sorrow. Who was looking out for Seth Walsh or Asher Brown? Where were their friends and family? Someone at school must have seen these things happening, why didn’t ANYONE do anything? Why do we run away from our opportunities to so much good?
It’s not my problem. I don’t want to be a victim too. I thought I would get in trouble. What if they got mad? These are all excuses you can use to sit back and watch people being abused and attacked. And you’ll be fine because they are just names and faces on a TV set or in the newspaper. They aren’t real, they aren’t anyone you love or care for.
Until one day they are. And your friend from school takes a bottle of pills because he felt like he didn’t matter anymore. Or your best friend gets killed by the boys who brought guns to school because they couldn’t take the torture anymore. Or your own daughter jumps off a bridge because she never felt like she had a place in this world.
We, the others, hold the power. We have the clarity to see what is right and what is wrong with that clarity we have a responsibility to help those in need. It is not about defending gay rights or being chivalrous, this is about being a decent human being, this is about doing what is right.
I implore you all to stand up for something you believe in. I beg you to intervene when you see someone being treated unfairly. I ask you to please, join me in the desire to be a good person and make the world a better place. You never know who’s life you will save.
